At age 23, I traded in my family for a new one. While it was Tammy I had proposed to, it was her family I aimed to marry. Her father was a respected doctor in whose eyes I could do no wrong. Her mother, always flirtatious, never failed to compliment my looks and laugh at my jokes. Even Tammy’s younger brother looked up to me.
I love this one, Johnny! It should be required reading for Southern girls of marriageable age. It would be helpful if we could rewind the clock about 50 years in order to help a lot of people avoid the pain of unnecessary avoidance. Too bad with all our scientific advances nobody has figured out how to do that.
Relieved that you didn't compromise your happiness or deny your identity. ❤️To live that kind of lie is just horrendous, yet sadly, so many do just to hide. Yes, Tammy was hurt, but she should have wanted you to be who you are if she genuinely and maturely cared about you.
The women I knew in late 70s and 80s who married just semi-closeted men appear, in retrospect, to seek relationships that didn't require "all in.". Attachment issues, maybe, desire for a freer life that could still include kids and the look of the dream?
Tammy knew what she wanted, Jon. I'd say her exit rage was because you called out her number. Betcha the Baptist preacher filled the order, willingly. ✅
Thanks, Kevin. I'm glad you caught that! I used to wonder how in the world my therapist could see so deeply into me. I thought I was such a complicated mystery. I found I was, but mostly to myself.
I had a boyfriend in first grade. His name was Mike and we were so innocently sweet on each other. We grew up, he had a girlfriend through the high school years and I had a boyfriend. He later married another woman and they had four daughters. She died young. He came out, had several long term relationships and then, a lasting one. He and I are still sweet on each other, in the best of friends ways: old friends. His daughters love him dearly. His mother supported him completely. His sister disowned him (religious zealot). This happens more than we know.
I try to imagine what his life was like and what it might have been like if he’d been able to be his real self, and it grieves me to this day. All those years… so long ago now. A lifetime ago.
You have the best stories! I love this one; it's bittersweet, and I relate to it completely. I wish he could have come out to you in high school. Knowing who you are and the size of your heart, you would have shown such loving acceptance, an experience that he probably had to wait another lifetime for. You are such a treasure, Sharon.
Yes. I would have. I did, for others in past years, stepping over to stand with them, mostly figuratively but sometimes literally. Thank you so much for your very kind words. I appreciate them, and you. ❤️
In spite of the anguish of those days that followed, imagine if you'd gone through with it. Misery for years and not worth all of the trade-offs. And you'd never have gotten your lines untangled and ended up with The Artist, a much happier outcome!
Thanks, Kelli. Indeed, I've seen so many gay men take that route. So much pain and collateral damage. I don't think I would ever have both lived the lie and sober up.
I love this one, Johnny! It should be required reading for Southern girls of marriageable age. It would be helpful if we could rewind the clock about 50 years in order to help a lot of people avoid the pain of unnecessary avoidance. Too bad with all our scientific advances nobody has figured out how to do that.
Relieved that you didn't compromise your happiness or deny your identity. ❤️To live that kind of lie is just horrendous, yet sadly, so many do just to hide. Yes, Tammy was hurt, but she should have wanted you to be who you are if she genuinely and maturely cared about you.
I came so close to ruining both our lives. And any children that became part of the lie.
It was a meaner man in decades prior who often ( my uncle) wanted the family as full cover and sometimes drove the women ( my aunt) to lobotomy.
OMG! THAT is a story that needs to be told!
The women I knew in late 70s and 80s who married just semi-closeted men appear, in retrospect, to seek relationships that didn't require "all in.". Attachment issues, maybe, desire for a freer life that could still include kids and the look of the dream?
Tammy knew what she wanted, Jon. I'd say her exit rage was because you called out her number. Betcha the Baptist preacher filled the order, willingly. ✅
You know, I think you are on to something! It always takes two to keep a sick relationship together for so long.
Bold and brilliant! “…a cheap therapy date.” Love it!
Thanks, Kevin. I'm glad you caught that! I used to wonder how in the world my therapist could see so deeply into me. I thought I was such a complicated mystery. I found I was, but mostly to myself.
This story… May I share one?
I had a boyfriend in first grade. His name was Mike and we were so innocently sweet on each other. We grew up, he had a girlfriend through the high school years and I had a boyfriend. He later married another woman and they had four daughters. She died young. He came out, had several long term relationships and then, a lasting one. He and I are still sweet on each other, in the best of friends ways: old friends. His daughters love him dearly. His mother supported him completely. His sister disowned him (religious zealot). This happens more than we know.
I try to imagine what his life was like and what it might have been like if he’d been able to be his real self, and it grieves me to this day. All those years… so long ago now. A lifetime ago.
You have the best stories! I love this one; it's bittersweet, and I relate to it completely. I wish he could have come out to you in high school. Knowing who you are and the size of your heart, you would have shown such loving acceptance, an experience that he probably had to wait another lifetime for. You are such a treasure, Sharon.
Yes. I would have. I did, for others in past years, stepping over to stand with them, mostly figuratively but sometimes literally. Thank you so much for your very kind words. I appreciate them, and you. ❤️
In spite of the anguish of those days that followed, imagine if you'd gone through with it. Misery for years and not worth all of the trade-offs. And you'd never have gotten your lines untangled and ended up with The Artist, a much happier outcome!
Thanks, Kelli. Indeed, I've seen so many gay men take that route. So much pain and collateral damage. I don't think I would ever have both lived the lie and sober up.