Introduction Recently, a friend told me how frustrating it was to have every white person he met start the relationship by trying to prove how they are not a racist; regardless of what part of the country he’s in, it’s the same song and dance. He said, based on this sampling, he can only assume there are no racists in America, or they all live underground somewhere. He said this makes Black folks crazy because it contradicts their daily lived experience. So, either somebody’s lying, or every Black person in America is crazy.
I began my owning-up-to-it with my little essay “Owning my Own Racism.” You may remember it. Years later and that little racist bastard is still there in my head.
Inspired by you,Jon, and Rumi, maybe it’s time I “meet them at the door laughing,and invite them in.” Perhaps we could have a little heart to heart over tea.
Yes, I do remember that. I’ve discovered that the principle of powerlessness from the 12 Steps applies to my racism as well. And of course,who can argue with Rumi?
This is so raw and well laid out. Thank you for telling truths. So many white people have just a passing idea of white privilege is, if they acknowledge it at all. I wish white people would acquaint themselves with the history of race in America and see themselves - really see themselves - as something other than innocent bystanders. What we resist, persists.
I couldn't help myself. As I listened to your true words I got angrier and angrier. It's a beautifully thought-out piece, but it laid a guilt trip on me that I don't want to have. I want this not to be true, not to be something I recognize, but you had me at "Hey there..."
Thank you, Mary Lois for such an honest response. It's so strange, I have spent my life trying to disown these thoughts instead acknowledging them. I'm so afraid of what Black people will think of me if they know, but the surprise is, they already know. Not one of my Black friends has ever asked my to change my thoughts, only to be honest about them, no matter how ugly. There is such relief in that for them and for me. With all the energy I save by not masking these internal tapes, I can actually DO something differently.
Wow. If you were going for the gut, you got it. This could not have been an easy "write." Makes me think of when Mel Gibson professed it was the drink when he said all those disparaging things about Jews. Not a chance. As you say, the voice was there; the evil thoughts were in his head. How to react when truisms are so painfully awful. Sad, but well said, Jon.
I began my owning-up-to-it with my little essay “Owning my Own Racism.” You may remember it. Years later and that little racist bastard is still there in my head.
Inspired by you,Jon, and Rumi, maybe it’s time I “meet them at the door laughing,and invite them in.” Perhaps we could have a little heart to heart over tea.
Yes, I do remember that. I’ve discovered that the principle of powerlessness from the 12 Steps applies to my racism as well. And of course,who can argue with Rumi?
This is so raw and well laid out. Thank you for telling truths. So many white people have just a passing idea of white privilege is, if they acknowledge it at all. I wish white people would acquaint themselves with the history of race in America and see themselves - really see themselves - as something other than innocent bystanders. What we resist, persists.
I couldn't help myself. As I listened to your true words I got angrier and angrier. It's a beautifully thought-out piece, but it laid a guilt trip on me that I don't want to have. I want this not to be true, not to be something I recognize, but you had me at "Hey there..."
Thank you, Mary Lois for such an honest response. It's so strange, I have spent my life trying to disown these thoughts instead acknowledging them. I'm so afraid of what Black people will think of me if they know, but the surprise is, they already know. Not one of my Black friends has ever asked my to change my thoughts, only to be honest about them, no matter how ugly. There is such relief in that for them and for me. With all the energy I save by not masking these internal tapes, I can actually DO something differently.
Wow. If you were going for the gut, you got it. This could not have been an easy "write." Makes me think of when Mel Gibson professed it was the drink when he said all those disparaging things about Jews. Not a chance. As you say, the voice was there; the evil thoughts were in his head. How to react when truisms are so painfully awful. Sad, but well said, Jon.
Thank you, Joan. It was hard to write, but there was also some relief in it.